01-02-25 Today I made a webpage. Happy new year!

01-03-25 Today I made another webpage!

01-05-2025 Today I made the website live! Welcome to the Grand Opening of Femboy Fisticuffs dot com, or the Fistiblog. My reasons for creating this site are various and deeply personal. I want a place that is safe and free, and with the understanding that such a place must be cultivated meticulously rather than simply found, I'm in the process of forging that place. I hope so, anyway.

01-12-25 Today the website becomes fully realized! I put a lot of work in getting the site in working order today. The biggest hurdle was formatting it for mobile, which took actual hours. I also have a domain, too! femboyfisticuffs.com is real at last. Anyway, I just survived both a State of Emergency and a local infrustructure crisis. Apparently three inches of snow is enough to cripple a water treatment plant supplying hundreds of thousands. Regular Monday in Richmond. By the way, Ethan's a bitch.

05/06/2025 The thing I expected to do but didn't want to do ended up happening. As you may notice I've been away from the site for a while, and the only reason is because I basically lost interest and forgot about it for that entire time. I'd like to change that and utilize this site for all of its original purposes. Creativity and writing in general are things I've wanted to get back into for a long time now but have been stricken with an indescribable mental block. Effort is a weird concept when you're depressed. I have the time, and because I'm awake that means I must have the energy, but so often I'm simply barred from what I want to do with myself. I'm not, though, of course. Not really. I've come to understand that for all practical applications, there is no such thing as "motivation," so why don't I just sit down and write something? Well, here we are. I want to change that, and by my expression of wanting to do so in this etheric space that is the internet, perhaps I am. Anyway, there are plenty of updates with the happenings of my life. Z and I are moving in together in less than two months! We should probably start packing, like last week. I've been spending 99% of my time in their apartment so it's like we already live together. Right now my room is basically serving as storage... and lodging for someone running away from home at the ripe age of 21. Longer story than I care to write in VSCode... They're here for the week and after that is up to them to figure out. I want to hope for the best for them, truly, but I fear they are massively unprepared for what the real world has to offer. God knows I was. I had the support of my parents and still I went through hell. It hasn't been too bad of a time to be honest, but I'm definitely not taking in any more strays after this.

05/14/2025 My boarding guest has departed without a hitch, for the most part. They did end up asking to stay longer which I was hoping they wouldn't, but quickly respected my boundries when I held firm in them. I visited Z's family over mother's day weekend which is always a treat. As loud as their toddler/preschool age siblings are, it's always a delight to see them. I got more familial insight from their mom who's an incredibly down to earth person and such a "90's kid" brand of nerd. She mentioned geocities and learning HTML for the original era of personal websites, and I showed her this one! The creation of this site is directly inspired by that era's revival after all. In other news, I take the second exam for my IT certification tomorrow. I genuinely can't tell if I'm ready or massively unprepared because of how different my approach to this exam has been to the first one. Probably a big mistake switching up on a method that ended up working, but it'll hopefully save me and my dad the better part of $150 to only buy the test voucher instead of the voucher bundle with a free retake and a study guide. Hopefully. I'm trying to keep a level head about it but that brings the new fear that I'm becoming overconfident and too lax on studying, whereas during the prep period for the first one I got so in my head about it that I had an anxiety freak out the night before the test and then passed with flying colors. I've been pretty optimistic in general lately, definitely helped by the meds I started taking last month. That always brings the underlying fear that something will happen as a result of my guard being down, however, but I'm trying really hard not to psych myself out over it.

11/30/2025 It's been a while since I've updated this site, oops. Things have been good though. I'm A+ certified, I have a new job (although those two things are unrelated), and I moved in with my wonderful partner. We were elated about the new place, but I don't think anyone was more excited than the cat. She went nuts at first running around and making the most of the new living room. I know she also loves that the both of us sleep in the same bed every night now, because I don't hear her purring any louder than when she's sandwiched between us on the bed. My 23rd birthday came and went this month, as well as Z's 22nd. Thanksgiving too, which I had to work throughout. This was my first thanksgiving not at home, so that kinda sucked. It's easier now to be comfortable with my overall situation than it was when I first made this site, and yet there remains an underlying fear of catastrophe, or at least an uneasiness that can't be shaken. The meds help me stay down to earth, but sometimes I drift off and my mind conjures sights that overwhelm me. Traumatic memories, images of angels and demons above and below me in the thousands and they all resent me for my sins, the regular stuff. I'm honestly coping better than ever, but the crazy comes back every now and then and it feels like a migrain when it all comes flooding back for even just a moment. Anyway! Hopefully I'll remember to keep updating this site, and a sincere apology to mobile users for the site still looking like boiling hot dog water. I'll get to fixing that... eventually.